My husband cheats, because am not good in bed

I am a good cook and dress moderately, but i’m not good in bed. I have once told him to teach me any style he enjoys or to buy sex film we can see together. If my hubby is going to Oyo, he would tell me it is Ondo. Yes, he has many women. Deola, please tell me, is it right for me to fight any of the girls\women because there is this particular one I fought via SMS. He never appreciates me,
my cooking or dressing. He never takes me out and the outings we attend together are his family parties not mine. He has never given any gift except the ones given to him which he doesn’t like or says it looks feminine. He never remembers my birthday. Please help me; I so much love my husband.  Please my sister, advise me now on what to do to make my marriage enjoyable.

My dear sister, the most important of all you wrote is that you love your husband and you would really like to make your marriage enjoyable. God bless you. I haven’t met you, but speaking with you has given me a glimpse into your mind – the mind of a very good woman. I say God bless you again.

I’m glad you know some of the areas where you may have missed it in your marriage. Good sex is very important, and most men will go out to seek for it if they think they cannot get it in the home front. The truth is that most men are polygamous in nature, so they rush out to other women under any excuse to seek for sweeter juices. Don’t worry, you won’t lose this marriage. You may wonder how I know. I’ll tell you. That he still tells you he’s going to Oyo when it’s Ondo means he still has respect for you and doesn’t want to hurt you with the blunt truth.

During our telephone conversation, I told you that it was wrong of you to have contacted the other woman with abusive words. There’s no point fighting with a fellow woman over any man. You must play your part and leave the rest.

Yes, it’s bad that he doesn’t remember your birthday. That can hurt. It’s bad that you don’t go out as couple and it’s unfair that he doesn’t appreciate your gifts. These are fundamental crisis in any marriage and I know how you must he aching. It’s okay. Since he still comes back home and you still talk and make love, all these would be addressed. I have promised you a personal session free of charge, so, we’ll go over all the grey arrears together and you will win back the love and bring back the smiles I’m sure you once had.

Below are some tips from other people about how to make your marriage exciting:

Telling it like it is: Whether it be married couples, or those in a long-term relationship with a significant other, it should be understood that happy and healthy relationships take a lot of work. The effort involved with deepening the connection between the couple can be enjoyed by both husband and wife (or significant other), thus developing a close intimate bond unlike any other.

Begin each day with the question, “What can I do today to show my husband/wife how much I love him/her?”

Grooming: You would be surprised how many people have mentioned basic grooming habits being a problem in their relationship. Brush or comb your hair, brush your teeth, take a bath or shower every day, put on some makeup, get rid of those old nasty sweats and put on an outfit that shows that you care about your appearance. You know that old, worn out “favorite” shirt you’ve been hanging onto for years? Get rid of it! There isn’t much that can diminish the romantic feelings between husband and wife than to see your spouse looking frumpy and disheveled.

Ladies, put your hair up in a nice clip instead of a “scrunchy”, or take the time to curl your hair and make yourself look nice for your husband. Get rid of the granny panties and wear some underwear that is attractive and sexy for your man.
Physical Touch: Begin each day by physically touching your spouse with hugs and kisses. Hold hands while sharing a cup of coffee or tea together; place your hand on your spouse’ leg while sitting together watching the morning news; gently caress your spouse’ face and say “You’re so beautiful, I love you”. Physical touch is very important in creating romantic atmosphere in the home, so when you arrive home from work be sure to hug and kiss your spouse, and continue physically touching each other throughout the evening.

A common problem in many marriages is where there is virtually no physical touch throughout the day and evening, but as soon as the children are in bed and the couple retires to the bedroom, there is an expectation that hot, sizzling sex is going to miraculously heat up the bedroom. Not! Frequently offer foot massages, shoulder massages and full-body massages to your spouse.

Listen: Pay close attention to subtle hints and comments about something your husband or wife wants to buy for themselves, and purchase it for them as a surprise. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, but if your wife sees a purse she likes or a set of earrings she wants, make note of it and stop by the store and pick it up for her. If your husband mentions wanting a new tool for his toolbox, or mentions wanting a new gadget of some kind, take the time to go buy it for him as a “just because” gift. Pay close attention to clues for birthday, holiday or anniversary gift ideas, making a point to write them down so you won’t forget and end up struggling to find a gift your spouse really wants.

Communication: Make time during the day to call or text message your husband or wife to let them know you are thinking about them. Don’t use that time to complain about the kids, or the in-laws, or bills piling up. Text message your husband or wife with a little naughty message in the middle of the day, with a teaser of what you have planned for the two of you once the kids are asleep in bed. Brag to your friends, family and co-workers about how lucky you are to have found such a wonderful, loving and supportive husband or wife. Talking in front of your spouse about your partner’s good qualities is romantic; notice the way your partner’s face lights up when you speak well of them to others.

Couples often complain that they don’t have much time to really communicate with each other, not with taking care of the kids, holding down one or more jobs, doing household chores and paying bills. If your children don’t have a normal bedtime routine, make one. Putting the kids to bed at a reasonable hour gives parents time to unwind from their day at work or other family responsibilities, allowing couples the needed time to focus attention on each other and the marriage.

Romantic Atmosphere: Make the home atmosphere as peaceful and romantic as possible. Turn off the TV. Make the dinner time meal with the family a peaceful and calm one, rather than using that time to complain and gripe about how the kids upset you, or how the “honey-do list” is still untouched. Keep a ready supply of scented candles to make the home smell nice, turn on some soft romantic music and dim the lights. (I sell scented candles and oils o).

Keep the home clean, toys picked up and put away, so your husband/wife doesn’t come home and wonder what you’ve been doing all day.

Sex, Sex, Sex Baby!: Make sex and romance fun in your marriage. Buy some naughty adult sex games to play when the kids are asleep. There are many intimate games for couples available to spice up your sex life, regardless of whether you are married or not. Christian couples want and need sex in their marriage too, and by the way…, Adam and Eve had SEX, and SEX for married couples is talked about in the Bible too!

Create your own private collection of sex toys and change up the routine of when or where you have sex, because your sexual health and wellness depends on finding creative ways to spice up your marriage and your sex life! Have a playful pillow fight, chase each other around the bedroom (if there’s enough room), turn the game of Scrabble into a striptease game.