Maxwell Ojo (not real name) was going to get married, at last. After a few unsuccessful attempts at finding a suitable woman to walk with him down the aisle, he finally made a choice.
Nkechi, the pretty and soft-spoken damsel that stole his heart three years ago, was the chosen one. She was in her early 30 and already, very ripe, as it were, for marriage by the time they met aboard a domestic flight from Enugu to Lagos.
A few months later, Maxwell was convinced that he had found his ‘missing rib’, the right woman to spend the rest of his life with.
Nkechi had told him on their first outing together that she was a native of Nnewi. Initially, he had not even the faintest idea of what the town looked like. Upon investigation, he learnt that it was an important town in Anambra State. Nnewi, he was told, was not just a relatively prosperous town, but it is also the hometown of the late Biafra war leader, Chief Chukwuemeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu, and the likes of Dr. Cosmas Maduka, the Chairman/CEO of Coscharis Group of Companies; Chief Innocent Chukwuma, a leading manufacturer and Chairman of Innoson Group of Companies, among many others.
Finally, armed with this knowledge, Maxwell set out in company with six relatives to meet his prospective in-laws for the first time. The journey was smooth. They met the city located in a serene Igbo countryside, about 25 minutes from the bustling commercial city of Onitsha.
But Nnewi is no less a commercial town, as he later found out. Modern houses seemed to sprout with ease, as he drove through Oraifite and Edo Ezennewi streets, as well as the busy Nkwo Nnewi area. The roads were tarred and almost free of bumps.
The formal introduction went quite smoothly as anticipated. The prospective in-laws lavishly entertained the guests. Maxwell felt on top of the world until the moment Nkechi’s uncle, Mazi Akachukwu Okechukwu, handed him a compulsory list of items to be presented for the traditional wedding, known among the Igbo as ‘Igba Nkwu’, to take place.
Top on the list was a new motorcycle. A large he-goat and several boxes of assorted clothing materials and household items, among others, followed it.
Observing the incredulous expression on Maxwell’s face, Okechukwu offered an explanation.
He said, “My in-law, the motorcycle is a traditional gift that we must present to our daughter on the day of her wedding. Nnewi women are precious and custom demands that they must not face undue burden in their husband’s homes. The motorcycle is supposed to serve as their means of transportation to the market and anywhere else, they choose to go as married women. This is our tradition.”
Maxwell did not know what to say to that. However, the furrows on his face deepened as he learnt that it was also his responsibility to provide the entertainment for the guests on the day of the ‘Igba Nkwu’.
Different strokes
Thomas Nimyel, a native of Plateau State, was over the moon.
After meeting his prospective father in-law for the first time in Calabar, Cross River State, where his fiancée hails from, he was informed that the bride price (Okuk Ndo), in Efik language, cost only N25.
Nimyel heaved a sigh of relief and relaxed. Initially he was scared that his father in-law might present him with an intimidating list for the traditional marital rites. This was because he had saved up a lot of money from his meagre salary as a federal civil servant in order to embark on this journey.
Nimyel’s prospective in-laws also gave him a list of requirements for the traditional marriage ceremony or Nkpo Ndo in Efik. On the list, there were certain things that he was expected to do for the bride, her father, mother, village youth and women.
Before he got too excited, his in-laws promptly informed him that the notion that Efik traditional marriage is not an expensive one was relative, as the contents of their native marriage list, varied from one family to the other. More so, in certain families, the list is near inexhaustible, as the groom must buy certain items for his bride’s extended family members such as grandparents, cousins and in-laws.
Also, the groom needs, among other things, to provide a full trunk box of assorted clothes for his wife-to-be. The items include Holland wrapper (Hollandis), George and Ankara materials/wrappers, blouses, dresses, bags, jewellery, shoes, and umbrellas.
However, in the Efik traditional marriage (Ndo Efik), the bride’s parents bear the responsibility of providing entertainment for guests on the D-day. For the groom, it is not compulsory that he has to contribute to the ceremony financially. Nonetheless, if he feels like providing assistance, in cash or kind, the bride’s parents will happily accept the offer.
The Ijesha and the she-goat
The traditional marriage ceremony in Ijesha land in Osun State is not that different from what obtains in other part of Yorubaland. Nowadays, it serves as the prelude to a ‘white’ wedding in the church for most families.
During the ceremony, the groom and his family will present the dowry and other necessary requirements demanded by the bride’s family.
The marriage list includes items, such as a she-goat, several sticks of sugarcane, bottles of aromatic Schnapps, bottles of honey/sugar and salt, and eja abori (a variety of fish that is considered highly nutritious).
Others comprise a keg of palm oil, a gourd of palm wine, and pairs of shoes.
The she-goat is symbolic in a way. It is a symbol of fertility. The combination of salt, sugar and honey symbolises that the marriage would be blissful and full of sweet experiences.
The Holy Bible/Q’uoran is meant to serve as a constant reminder of their faith and the need to make recourse to it whenever the couple faces a serious challenge in the marriage. The palm oil and palm wine are also considered to be significant.
Why Okun (Kogi) people demand pigs
For the Okun in Kogi State, the marital rites are a different ball game. For instance, the engagement ceremony cannot be complete without a pig in tow. The animal, in fact, is the most symbolic in the traditional marriage solemnisation of the people.
In Egbe, Yagba West Local Government Area of the state, the groom’s parents must traditionally present a fat and juicy sow (female pig) to their in-laws.
On the significance of the pig, the Head of the Olorunponmi clan in Odo-Egbe, Baba Onile, said the animal for such a ceremony “is not just ordinary.”
He said, “Pigs are known to have multiple births (piglets). Have you ever heard that a big is barren? We ask for it and insist that we eat it on the engagement day because it shows that the union will be fruitful.
“We are not bothered about the cash you bring as dowry. The groom would only need to give a new naira note of any denomination but we strongly believe that the pig is the ultimate bride price.”
In the North, due to their pre-occupation with cattle rearing, the groom’s family presents to the bride’s relations either a whole cow or the lap of a slaughtered cow, depending on family’s choice.
Mrs. Jamila Jacobs, a native of Kaduna State, who got married a few weeks ago, said her parents emphasised on boxes full of clothes, salt, as well as a cow lap for the traditional engagement.
‘Cash and carry’ marriages
Although love may be the driving factor for men like Maxwell Ojo and Thomas Nimyel, who chose to marry women from other tribes, investigation shows that it hardly counts when it comes to traditional marriages in some parts of the country. Instead, the ability of an intending groom and his family to meet all the requirements for the marriage ceremony is important to the family of his wife-to-be.
If the suitor is a native of the lady’s hometown, his chances of scaling the initial hurdles are usually brighter than a non-native’s. To buttress this point, a native of Umuahia in Abia State, Mr. Okechukwu Egbulife, says it is cheaper for a native to be engaged to a woman than a suitor from a different part of the country.
Egbulife notes that while the traditional rites could be relaxed for a native, who is interested in marrying one of their daughters, the privilege is not extended to a non-native.
For example, in Mbaise, Imo State, a suitor is expected to present 100 tubers of yam; 10 pieces of Hollandis; five pairs of shoes; 20 cartons of beer; 10 crates of mineral; one big container of snuff; two rolls of cigarettes; two big basins; two handbags and two bottles of hot drinks.
Other requirements are powder, pomade, umbrella, sugar, biggest tin of Milo and milk, walking-stick, a bag of rice, one carton of bar soap, and five packets of matches.
Also, another native, Mrs. Chineye Nwogu, says the suitor is required to pay N100, 000 to the bride’s family.
“This sum of money, however, is negotiable, depending on the bride’s level of education. For instance, the dowry for a bride, who has only a school certificate, is different from the sum paid on a bride, who holds a university degree.
“The bride’s family background is also an important factor. An educated family is likely going to be more considerate than another that is less educated. In other words, while the less educated family will insist on fulfilling all the native rites, the educated one may give the suitor some concession.”
However, there is a danger in not completing the rites. “If, for instance, something untoward happens to the bride, perhaps death or divorce, the assumption is that her husband would be at the losing end. In the case of death, her husband would be compelled to first complete the marital rites or he loses the right to bury his wife in his hometown. If the latter prevails, the man is as good as not married to the woman at all,” she says.
Among the Okrika people of Rivers State, traditional marriage is not just an elaborate affair, it is also considered as one of the most expensive around the country. For instance, a suitor is often handed a long list of requirements that he must fulfil before the marriage takes place. He is expected to present the bride’s parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents with several items, including cash.
The bride’s parents are each entitled to cash gifts totalling N200,000 and even more. This excludes cash gifts to be presented to her grandparents and other members of the extended family.
Fulani’s simple procedure
The Fulani traditional marriage ceremony counts among the simplest and most convenient in the country. But it was gathered that the Fulani are not too keen on engaging in inter-tribal marriage, except with the Hausa who share the same religion with them. But marriages may be arranged among families even before the birth of their children.
Although it is believed that young suitors are often made to pass through a traditional test of endurance known as the Sharo, in which they take turns to be whipped, Mallam Salisu Usman, a native of Sokoto resident in Lagos, says it is no longer considered necessary.
“The world is changing and, so, some customs and traditions are being discarded,” he says, adding that more Fulani are getting married to non-natives from other parts of the country.
To marry a Fulani girl, a man is usually required to present gifts of textile materials (Ankara is preferable), beauty products and small amounts of cash to the bride and her parents. If the girl’s parents accept the gifts and give their consent, the marriage ceremony proceeds to the next stage.
For the marriage proper, a dowry (or Sadaaki), three sets of big bags filled with perfumes, beauty products and clothes, respectively are the requirements, which the groom must provide. After the ceremony, the bride’s relatives will escort her to her husband’s home.
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