15 signs that he is not meant for each other

There are times in a relationship when certain signs point to the fact that you and Mr. X are not meant to be together. Blessing Ukemena writes on some of these facts, with report from www.madamnoire.com


After you’ve already dedicated time getting to know someone, getting attached to the person, and getting involved in their lives, it’s depressing to think that that was all just a waste of time. But you know, the real waste of time is spending your life with someone you’re not really into. Here are some signs to tell if you should leave or stay.

You’re happier when he’s not around

You probably haven’t thought about it, or haven’t pinpointed it as such, but in reality, you are happier when he’s not in the room, than when he is. Plain and simple: you know what happiness feels like, and you’re not feeling it around him.

You prefer sleeping alone to sleeping with him

You’d rather stay home and get a solid eight hours of sleep in your bed at your home where you’re more comfortable, than drive somewhere to see him.

You don’t want to talk about your relationship

This is a major pointer for most ladies; if he is not the type you want to show off to your girls, then do have a re-think. Talking about your relationship bores even you. When your friends ask you how it’s going, you say, “Great!”, and change the subject. But come on: when you’re into a guy, you have a million things to say.

You don’t speak up when you’re upset

You acknowledge that your boyfriend is being selfish, rude, or annoying, but you don’t say anything. And the truth is, you don’t really feel upset. When you’ve become emotionally detached from somebody, you don’t feel affected by his poor behaviour.

You think about other men, extensively

We all occasionally acknowledge that somebody else is attractive, even while we’re in a committed relationship. But you find yourself thinking about a guy you met for five minutes, in every single day, even when you are with your current guy. Huge exit sign.

You don’t notice that you haven’t talked in a while

Ladies love to talk, especially to their men or their girlfriends. But if it happens that you vaguely, casually notice that, “Oh yeah…we haven’t spoken since yesterday”; but you didn’t notice his absence. And that 24 hours felt like it flew by.

You make no effort in your appearance

You just don’t care. You really don’t. You think about the prospect of him thinking you look ugly, and that prospect doesn’t bother you. This is what you want to wear right now and his opinion just don’t count. Sometimes, even when he protests, you look him in the eye and say, “this is what I feel like wearing”.

You stop sharing exciting news with him

He’s not the person you share exciting, or difficult, changes in your life with. It just feels like effort re-hashing it all to him. And quite frankly, you don’t know that he deserves to share in your happy moments, or even vulnerable ones.

You stop asking for his advice

It just annoys you if you do take it in, and for the most part, you tune it out. You don’t value his way of thinking or living, so why would you want his advice? Or his company at all?

You’re thinking often about ending it

      Every so often, we might think about wanting to end it with our guy. But you have a thought about it everyday – how you’d do it, what you’d say, what your life would be like without him, and so on. And the thoughts have only been increasing lately.

You’re hesitant to make future plans

Purchasing a N35,000 plane ticket to go visit his family in the holiday screams, “Bad idea!” to you. In fact, making any solid future plans with him, that require much time, energy or money, feel irresponsible, and you are not just prepared to do that.

Thought of him with someone else doesn’t make you jealous

Okay, maybe just a little, but if you love someone, you should be seething with rage (non-violent type), just thinking he might be with some other lady. If you think really hard, and actually visualise, in vivid colours and every detail, your man having sex with another woman, you don’t get a massive stomach ache. You should run.

You really care about inconsequential things

It matters a lot what restaurant you eat at, or what movie you watch, or if you go to a cinema hall or supermarket. Why? Because, when you’re into someone, their company makes all activities fun. But when you’re not into them, the activity itself has to do all the work of satisfying you. Your partner is just extra weight. Sometimes, you even avoid certain places, because someone who knows you might find you there. With all of these, the handwriting to the exit is clearly on the wall.